As everyone know, May is mental health awareness month. It’s good that people raise awareness about mental health because it’s just so important to everyone and I want to say that I will be taking part by doing this post. So without further ado, let’s start.
Okay, just a little note that I have never been diagnosed by a professional about my mental illness. I also have never told anyone about what I feel but this blog– only this blog knows what I truly feel. It’s really good that I’ve started this blog because it’s helped me overcome my mental illness. To let everyone know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. It’s so hard for me to meet new people and to be in a certain situation– it’s just so hard that I just sit somewhere and think and think and think which leads to nothing but even worse situations.
I haven’t admitted this for a long time now but I’m afraid to be bullied. Who wants to be bullied anyway? It’s good that I don’t have to suffer from bullying because no one bullies me (thank God) but whenever people are throwing looks at me, I can’t help to be anxious and then I start to think that I’m not good enough, that I should probably just go home and on and on. It’s difficult. It honestly is. What I want is to live life freely and happily and have unexpected adventures but anxiety stops me. It’s so depressing and the stuff that makes me happy stopped making me happy anymore. And I once posted about my worst sleeping schedule– I realised that I can’t sleep because of my thoughts that are sometimes just so bad so I just use my phone instead to distract myself and that leads to me being unhealthy.
I’m also having difficulties with panic attacks. You won’t believe me that I had a panic attack when I met my favourite Youtuber. I panicked for a moment and it’s the worst– it feels like I will collapse at any moment and I feel my knees being so wobbly it feels like my bone will break at any moment and I started to get sweaty but it’s just so good that I managed to make my thoughts positive. I gotta be positive. I gotta beat this sh*t in order for me to enjoy the moment. Remember Noah’s advice to Penny in Girl Online? I remembered Noah’s advice at that moment and I just let the panic attack to finish. I just let it be and it’s honestly effective. And I felt happy after that because of course, I just met my favourite Youtuber and we even took a picture together.
Those written above are just some of my experiences and let’s head on to the main part of this post which is to spread awareness to everyone.
Anxiety is horrifying. Depression is horrifying and any other mental illness is horrifying too. You could be having an attack somewhere at a certain situation and you just sit there pretending to be okay at all. You don’t want other people to know as you don’t want to worry them– it will only make you feel worse so you just pretend to be okay but the truth is, nothing’s okay. You need to find someone you can hold unto, whether it be an online friend or your journal or your family– you need to let your thoughts out. You need to let it out. You need to tell it to someone whom you can trust and to someone who understands. I promise you, they will help without you noticing it. You should seek out someone because for sure, your thoughts will eat you, your thoughts will kill you inside so it’s better to let them out. Remember that you are not seeking for attention, you feel bad because something’s up inside you that’s why you need help.
I salute everyone who speaks out their thoughts so that they could overcome it. So that the next time they feel it, they already know what to do so that their thoughts couldn’t eat them. And please please please remember that suicide will never be the answer. I’m not in the place to say this because I certainly don’t know how you truly feel but remember to go on and to live life because this too, shall pass. And also, don’t forget to seek help from God because He probably knows what to do. You are His child and you are worthy and to His eyes, you are beautiful. Pray and He is there to listen. He is always there by your side and it hurts Him that you’re having bad thoughts about yourself. You are made from His image and likeness.
God loves you.
I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but don’t let the negative thoughts eat you. Always be positive and live.
If you’re still reading this part, then thank you so much! I appreciate that you gave my thoughts a read. Let me know what are your insights in the comments below!